Coaching empowers you to be aware of believes, thoughts and perceptions that keep you stuck or, on the contrary, allow you to spread your wings and fly high. During my first coaching session, I learned a simple practice that literally blew my mind. Learn how to bring consistently happiness to your life.
If this is not the first article you are reading here, you know that I’m passionate about two things: living mindfully and having a choice. And of course, this blog is all about finding ways to live on purpose, being happy here and now and crafting your best life possible.
In another post, I was writing about my trip to Guatemala and the filters we have when interpreting ‘facts’ of the outer world with our senses. Travelling abroad is one great way of broadening our awareness of the ‘a priori’ we take for granted and of which we are often not or only partly conscious.
The more aware you are of these filters, biases and habits, the more you can influence anything in your life.
Where do these filters come from?
We ‘inherit’ filters from the cultural and physical environment in which we were born, grew up and live now.
Another influence is the original family system. It was more or less healthy and helpful to cultivate qualities like trust, risk, joy, discipline, goal setting or ease.
You have been around family members, role models, friends, colleagues and teachers that all had an impact on how you construct your ‘realities’ in everyday life. The people you spend (most) time with have a deep impact on you as you are highly sensitive and empathic.
Growing older, you have more or less consciously chosen strategies to deal with certain situations or persons. We constantly do things with our mind and our body to feel ‘sad’ or ‘upset’ or ‘happy’ or ‘exuberant’ – the degrees of being aware of what we do to ‘produce’ and of expressing these feelings vary.
You have preferences of giving selective attention to things inside yourself and in the world. For example, if you look at something you will see immediately (rather) the big picture or the detail(s). (The more ‘gifted’ you are, the easier it will be for you to see both at the same time.)
5) Perceptions and Beliefs
You give meaning to the things you focus on. For example, you believe that you have to endure something or you think that you can influence our destiny and that taking certain actions will give you specific results. Depending on what you believe you will take action or procrastinate and you will interpret the results you get as ‘failure’ or ‘feedback’ or ‘success’.
And last but not least you have habitual ways to react to certain behaviours of others and the way you react to them. You also have habits about your perception (and judgement) of your feelings. You may reject a feeling like ‘being sad’ or if you ‘are happy’ you want it to stay or to grow.
What we focus on expands
In 2001, ten years after my journey to Guatemala, I experienced my first coaching session. It blew my mind! My coach showed me a tool that changed my life. She showed me that I can choose at any time where to put my focus on.
From that day on, I have consistently trained myself to focus on the resources rather than the deficits, the abundance rather than the lack, the solutions rather than the problems, the pleasure, rapture and joy that is all around us rather than the suffering.
Plus, I focus more on my zone of influence now rather than on my zone of concern.
Your turn now
For now, I invite you to think about one concrete aspect of your life where you choose to shift your focus.
But be aware of deeply ingrained habits. You may have to shift your focus over and over again for some time with regard to this specific ‘problem’ or situation or behaviour of a person.
Patience and perseverance are the keys to success.
To you Brilliant Life!
Thanks for leaving a comment below sharing your thoughts and experiences.
- Rip It Up by Richard Wiseman – Brilliant Book Review - 31/07/2021
- The Fault In Our Stars – Brilliant Book Review - 16/07/2020
- Alanis Morissette Helps To Cope With Corona - 12/04/2020