May I ask you a personal question? How strong is your self-love-and-self-care muscle? How brilliant are you at looking well after yourself before trying to get lots of stuff done or do good for others? If you are a highly sensitive woman, ethical and empathic you must practice this until it’s a habit, an unconscious competence. Let me explain why…
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We all are creatures of habit. Many of them are part of unconscious patterns and routines. Finding out what you have to stop doing, what you can change and what to do right now, in the present moment, is the very first step to lead a Brilliant Life.
This is what you should excel at if you are a gifted and/or highly sensitive woman on a mission: fostering strategies and knowing exactly what to do to feel whatever you want and to be the kind of person you want to be NOW.
No one else can do that for you!
Once you know how to achieve exactly this, the second step is to make it a habit and the most normal thing in your life. From that place, you will get greater results with less effort involved.
How do you want to feel now?
Asking yourself this question is simple. Feel how you want to feel is by no means easy; it takes commitment and effort and patience. But you can learn it and it becomes easier the more you practice. The trick is to know how to treat yourself with loving kindness and at the same time also to know how not to make excuses and procrastinate.
Do you know what you do with your mind and your body to feel ‘happy’ or ‘sad’?
Do you know how to activate states like ‘feeling at ease’ or ‘powerful’ or ‘determined’?
Watch this micro class that teaches you a simple strategy to quickly get into ANY state (aka feel any feeling) you wish.
If you are capable of feeling how you want to feel first – always – everything you undertake will be more effective. You as well as your clients, family, the community will get more out of it, if you make it a habit to put your own wellbeing first.
Don’t wait for your wake-up call
I had a wake-up call some time ago, an accident with my bicycle. During several weeks, I had to focus on taking rest, activating my healing powers and getting well again.
This was not what I wanted! Before, I was full of energy and had worked properly only two days after my holidays. I was eager to move my business forward. I did not fancy to accept my mind-body weakness and the doctor’s advice to not work at all.
However, we always have a choice. What I could do was to choose to heal as quickly as possible instead of ‘fighting’ my condition, worrying and making myself miserable.
Highly Sensitive Women, Do This
Firstly, what you can do, always, is to not use all of your energy. I know that you strive for excellence and that you like to give it all (and full throttle), but that is not wise. Keep some energy for yourself. Investing a maximum of 70% is enough.
Self-love and self-care imply – of course – not trying to fix it on your own. Get help. Before you are super tired or have to lie in bed. Choose wisely who can support you and understand your needs (Highly Sensitive Persons react differently to medication and therapies and not everyone understands this, sometimes you’ll have to explain!).
Thirdly, and this is a big one, learn to delegate. I did not go shopping for groceries or do any kind of household chores for a while and delegated this to my full time working partner. If you live on your own, find ways to delegate to a friend or hire someone to make life easier for yourself and focus on what you’re best at and what brings you joy and gives meaning.
Fourthly, don’t feel guilty! Practice this actively. Direct thoughts of love and care towards yourself instead. Here’s an easy exercise if you want to feel that you are loving and loved.
Why is being nice to oneself so hard?
Did you realise that I used the verb ‘had to’ rest and take it easy for a little while?
Once again, I was reminded of what I preach: trust life!
We high performing, highly sensitive women can learn and practice to receive and to be pampered. Obviously sometimes the ‘hard’ way.
Put yourself first, now!
Most of us women were taught to put all the others first: our children, our loved ones, our clients, the duties… And we think or hold on to the belief that it’s selfish to focus on looking after ourselves or even out of question to put ourselves first.
And then we may get lost… and even end up in real troubles as I did.
The good news is: you can unlearn that. You can train yourself with new habits. I promise that once you get ‘it’, it’s really fun and you will see how not only your own wellbeing in your everyday life but also your results and your impact in the world change for the better.
Why not give it a try?
Please leave a comment below and share your experience with this. Thanks!
Combining professional experiences in communication, project management and public health with scientific research around mind-body wellbeing, effective time management, goal achievement and happiness she supports you to harness your sensitivities and play to your strengths.
Working with her allows you to complete your mission and to have time for the things and people that matter most.